Marriage

Part 11 - Feelings Follow: The Principle

What happens when marriages take a turn for the worse, when people "grow apart"? People often put the problem this way, "I don't love her/him anymore?" The difficulty is our seeming lack of good feelings. Before answering, I'll lay down a basic principle. We can then apply it to marriage in our next lesson.

Philippians 4:6-9 exhorts, "Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things. The things you have learned and received and heard and seen in me, practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you." We note the relationship between various feelings or emotions.

We all experience anxiety and worry. Anxiety intimates inner turmoil. Our hearts are inordinately stirred and distracted from the things of God. Jesus warns us, "Be on guard, so that your hearts will not be weighted down with dissipation and drunkenness and the worries of life, and that day will not come on you suddenly like a trap" (Luke 21:34). Worry is as heinous as immoral dissipation and drunkenness.

The contrast is peace. The throne of God in heaven rests upon a crystal sea; "before the throne there was something like a sea of glass, like crystal" (Revelation 4:6). The picture is simple. Where God exercises His reign in our hearts, tranquillity ensues. There is peace. It is therefore imperative that you "sanctify Christ as Lord in your hearts" (1 Peter 3:15). That is, you must set aside Christ as Lord. You must submit to and follow His rule and teaching.

For this reason, Paul exhorts, "The things you have learned and received and heard and seen in me, practice these things." We must practice, in an ongoing way, the Word of God which comes to us through the apostle. We must not only be doers of the Word but we must practice the Word. A gymnast practices his routine on the parallel bars or her routine in floor exercise, over and over again, day after day, week after week, and month after month. There is tedious, laborious, careful practice involving growing precision. So it must be in practicing the Word of God.

For example, Paul exhorts us to "pray without ceasing" (1 Thessalonians 5:17). How do we do this? Matthew Henry gives us a hint. "The particular law of the daily sacrifice, a lamb in the morning and a lamb in the evening, which, for the constancy of it as duly as the day came, is called a continual burnt-offering, which intimates that when we are bidden to pray always, and to pray without ceasing, it is intended that at least every morning and every evening we offer up our solemn prayers and praises to God...." If Matthew Henry is correct, as a bare minimum, God calls us to engage in morning and evening personal worship and morning and evening corporate worship on the Lord's Day. This ought to become our practice. This is part of sanctifying Christ as Lord in our hearts.

Please note the result. Paul says: "And the God of peace will be with you." The principle is quite simple but profoundly important. First, practice the Word of God; second, feelings follow. When we disobey the Word of God, we feel bad. When we practice the Word of God, good feelings will follow.